I'm stressed out with our class play. I'm ultimately confused...I'm having deep, dark circles around my eyes and blogging seems foreign to me now. I have a short story to write and I'm nowhere near to starting with it. I feel like crap.
I just hope that I stop acting and feeling like nonsense before tomorrow 'coz it's gonna be a quiz filled hell of a day. If I were allowed to broadcast a whole lot of cuss and fuss, I might be spending the whole night doing it.
Shit happens. Damn the one who discovered stress.
Yeah, So it's still flu season and I think it's getting up my head. It's driving me up the wall. I'm creating my own problems when I shouldn't be. I'm turning people into bananas and forcing myself to hate them when I can't. It's bananas for crying out loud. It made me walk when I was barely 3.
Anyway, true, I'm becoming crazy. I'm trying to find faults in sparklers just so I could make a study about them. I'm going to suicide because I'm taking up a course that's totally not part of my oh-so-sure strengths. Basically, I'm ranting because I'm scared. I feel naked, bare. Stripped off of the things I find comforting. My pillow doesn't even feel as soft as before. I'm as scared as hell and I'm sort of pushing people away. Well, not yet. But I'm getting there. And I don't want to.
See, I'm getting crazy.
It sucks when I get too much into the moment that I could rage out right away when someone breaks it. I have a really bad attitude when it comes to that.
Anyway, once I got home, apparently tired from the so-called practice, I graded all the test papers for SN. Part of me was enraged by the totally horrible grammar. And a part of me was laughing my ass off at the others' tendency of being plain stupid. I'm cruel. This is my site, fuck off if you don't want to read.
I'm practically going to school tomorrow just to listen to how universities do their magic talking. I'm gonna sit my ass all day listening to them do the business talk. As of now, I'm trying to device schemes on how to sneak in some stuff and do unfinished work like my learning paper, my math assignment and my conclusion-less column.
I feel frustrated by the thought that I've so much to accomplish but laziness is engulfing me. It sucks, I know.
So much for that. i wish tomorrow would go smoothly. And I hate to get into another playful row with him. It's irritating.
I'm staying til 7 tomorrow at school to start with the reading rehearsals. It's gonna be a tiring monday. Wish the whole class luck if you're reading this.
The line up of teachers are great! I'm the student of the two teachers I've been looking forward to having to teach me. Yeay me! I'm in a class whom I believe would make my last year in Seton worthwhile. And I'm living the hectic life I've been asking for this summer.
Although it was quite a bummer that Ms. Ditas had to be on leave for a month due to some health reasons, I'm glad that we're finally getting down to the actual lessons. We're having our first seatwork in Math on Monday and I have to study for it. The class is in the process of producing a play for English- a requirement for the quarter. Kinda decided on producing Lysistrata since the first quarter would mostly be about Greek and Roman Mythology. So we had to stick to the Greek culture.
I'm living my role as the managing editor which is equal to doing nothing. Haha! But I'm doing what I can to help EIC almighty even if it's just accompanying her to the office. I'm hopeless. Incompetent. =[ Though, it's really excellent that the articles are on their way to layouting. We're just having little difficulty with the GS section of the paper. Apparently, they're going way off the submission period. But I'm hoping that we can finally release an issue that isn't late and unworthy of reading.
If you're wondering why I'm writing so freely tonight, it's because Mom and Dad aren't home tonight. Mom had dinner with her friends and Dad is in Bacolod spending the weekend with Lola because it's her birthday today. It's quiet. Even the tricyles outside aren't bothering to broom their way on the main road.
I still have alot of thoughts in my mind that I want to empty myself with. Like how I got a little pissed off during ZLL or how the humid weather is getting on my nerves. I just remembered that I'm gonna have to pay a fee for an overdue book at the library. Sucks, I know. I'm leaving it to this.
- Mood:
tired
It's really miserable on my part because I have the tendency to speak before thinking. Today, my tongue has done countless whip-lashing and probably the last straw was when I sort of crossed the line. I apologized saying that I never meant anything in the joke and there wasn't any meaning intended to it. But it kinda bothers me on the thought that I'm reverting into my tactless habit.
I've been labeled 'tactless' countless times. I've gotten into scrapes with it. I've humiliated myself with it. And I admit that I lose my tact when I can't put it on paper. Yeah, if you've read the posts I wrote ages ago with the terrible curses and cusses, imagine me having to say it. It's worse 'coz I might have waged a war already if my tongue slipped the details on the wrong person.
However, I am trying to make up for my rash attitude that comes along with my strong personality. I better keep my mind silently busy rather than speak them out all in one blow. I pity the innocent target.
Enough of the rant. I'm starting to feel better now that I've written rather than scream my frustrations.
- Mood:
guilty
I don't think this is the case this year. Although, I think the panda looking me stays. Anyway, my hands are tied with articles right now. I have one features and one column article pending. It was a good thing that I had partners with me to do the other news articles that I volunteered doing. I'm not seeing tomorrow as something to look forward to. I'm lame, I know. I just want to get this year done and over with.
I'm still thinking of an angle for the pre-election article I'm currently working on. It kinda sucks, talking about politics again and again. It's like looking at a really messy room. Like mine!
*sigh*
Here's my baon:
- Writing is expressing a purpose. Mr. Jarin said that writing isn't just about getting to see your name on the byline but getting to express what we have to say. I see it as being functionally generous. By the term, I mean that in every output that we make, both reader and writer should benefit from it. I realized that it's not all about catharsis/ purgation. It has to have pabaon with it.
- Have a focus. He also told us that as writers, we have a tendency to write about everything we want to write...in one output. And I am one of those people. And I know it because of my previous blog posts. Try reading those really long rant posts I make. It blames almost everything that breathes in this world. Mr. Jarin said that we should focus on something specific and try to stick to the topic or we'd go putting in all sorts of ideas turning the output into lugaw (porridge).
- Heightened Consciousness. I still can't grasp that concept but it sounds really smart and dramatic that I really wanted to add this here. LOL! Although the way I understand it, it's close to being focused with the topic of discussion.
- Know what you want to convey. The HOW comes after. That's what we all do. Or it's sabaw =))
- Never censor. I've been hearing this since ArtsWork. So far, I've been uncensoring myself when trying to find really good ideas. Mr. Jarin told us that censoring should be used after we've written our thing. But as long as we're still formulating, unleash the imagination!
- Defamiliarization. I remember Sir Jethro Tenorio when I heard this word this morning. I miss ArtsWork. And I clearly remember the animal trasformation activity we did three weeks ago. I learned that Defamiliarizing could lead to a good output.
- Never follow what the seminar teaches you. They're just guides. Discover new techniques, he said. Break the rules. Produce fresh insights. "Forget what the speaker said!" Everything will come in handy when the time comes. (similar to what Mr. Glenn Mas said in ArtsWork!)
Oh yes! and the immortal motto: Read, Read, Read!
- Mood:
cheerful
So we finally had the copyreading seminar for around two hours. It was so fast since none of us really had any questions on the topoic. Had one article to work on then after verifying together, we were sent home. The teachers had a seminar-reason why we were sent home at 11:30.
Then I spent the day at dad's office again. I was glued to the laptop the whole time finding ways to kill boredom. I finished the fifth chapter of the fanfic I'm currently working on and posted it right away. I opened my account a while ago and I've received 2 comments which were total praises. Yeay! That's why I'm feeling lightheaded. The review was sugarcoated to the point that my head's inflating. La-la-la-la-la! Haha!
I'm having another seminar tomorrow with another speaker. I have no idea who he is nor the topic which he would be discussing. That means I'm gonna look stupid during the discussion tomorrow...Unless if it's a topic that I've read about already or something related to that.
I'm still feeling lightheaded after all this. And my mind has been racing all kinds of thoughts. If I just had someone to type it for me, I could be in the process of writing a novel right now. I'm so fly.
- Mood:
hyper
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witty_wizard- Alec Mediodia
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